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World leaders hail death of Turpid Bam Irskel
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BREAKING NEWS: Chancellor in shock cannibalism confession
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Chancellor accused of censorship
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Tartrous refers himself to Standards Commissioner
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PeopleFirst launch latest legal bid to overturn ‘invidious’ law
I’m not moving, says local Mayor
Local dignitary plumbs himself into council buildings
Government vote called off again
The Government has successfully headed off this year’s fourteenth attempt by PeopleFirst to oust it.
Lord Sandison demands repayment of public debt
State threatened with bankruptcy by biggest creditor’s mystery demand for immediate payment.
Call to take roads into public ownership
Left wing pressure group says private road system causes chaos, and advocates central planning.
General Trebuchet refuses to be drawn
Chief Peacekeeper declines joint request from PeopleFirst and the Government for budget transparency.
The Mayor of Borkempt has a long history of devotion to the town he represents. Duspin Escroll was elected mayor at the age of seventeen, the youngest person ever to hold the office. That was almost forty years ago, and he’s been in office ever since.
‘Duspin is this town’s greatest asset,’ said Borkempt businesswoman Aver Moldrink yesterday. ‘He works day and night on our behalf. He’s never married, and has no life outside his civic duties. He’s really put us on the map with his efforts. OK, so he’s a bit eccentric, but we like our larger than life characters here in Borkempt. It all adds to the local colour.’
Moldrink was reacting to the news that Mayor Borkempt has had himself plumbed in behind his desk in the mayor’s office in the town hall. In what he declares to be a sign of his devotion to the job, he has had his anus and urethra connected to the sewage system, and a tube from the building’s canteen run down his throat into his stomach. He has also hooked himself up to the council’s data net via sockets implanted in his skull.
Not all locals are impressed. ‘This is disgusting,’ said Gurpling Distrant, a teacher
at the local upper school. ‘The mayor meets some high-
I’m not moving, says local Mayor